Safe and Sheltered

Victoria’s is a refuge for women and their children

When women arrive at Victoria’s Women’s Shelter and realize that they are now truly safe, they disappear for the first few days. Not because they’re scared — quite the opposite. “They just sleep. Their bodies need to recover,” says Penny Chatson, Residential Services Manager.

For more than 30 years, Victoria’s has offered a place to stay for women who want to escape abuse, along with their children. When a woman arrives, everything is ready for her, and every aspect of the shelter is geared to helping support her while she works toward starting a new life.

The shelter has individual rooms with a bathroom, bed, desk and more. Women are welcomed with a bag of toiletries, a cute stuffy and a handmade donated quilt they keep when they leave. “We don’t want it to feel institutional — we want it to be home,” Penny says. “If my mum came, what would I want it to be like for her?”

There are play areas for children, a secure private parking area, a spacious kitchen and gathering areas that include a quiet, women-only space where even infants are not allowed. Although abusers occasionally show up stalking a partner, security cameras show every entrance all the time and police are alerted if there is cause for concern. There are social workers and counsellors on staff, as well as a dedicated room for meetings with outside partners ranging from Ontario Works to lawyers. Several staff members started as users of the shelter themselves.

A neat pantry has communal items as well as a space for each woman or family to keep their own supplies. Staff make a list and do the shopping, with a budget of $4 per day, per shelter resident. Given that many women don’t have time to bring anything with them when they’re fleeing abuse, the shelter has pyjamas, socks, slippers, underwear and more for both them and their children. The shelter also receives donations from the community for a wide range of personal needs items — Penny says she just has to “put the word out”, usually through social media, and items roll in.  Plaques of appreciation for the donors who helped furnish the rooms line the walls.

There’s no firm limit on how long women can live at Victoria’s; the typical stay is six to ten weeks but can be up to one-year, Penny says. On the rare occasions the shelter is full, staff will arrange transportation to safe housing elsewhere. In recent years, the shelter has given many survivors of human sex trafficking a safe place to recover with two newly renovated, self-contained units and special counselling that allows them to learn the skills needed to build the life they want.

The idea that a woman “should just leave” an abusive situation is unfair, Penny says.  There are many complicated layers, and often years of abuse, for a woman to work through with counsellors including emotional, physical, sexual and even spiritual aspects.  Staff work closely with police to help women in crisis, and to keep them here in Kawartha Lakes. When a woman comes to the shelter, “She can keep her job, keep children in the schools they already attend and be close to her support system.” For more than three decades, Victoria’s has given women a place to escape from violence, to heal and to rebuild their lives.

By Nancy Payne